


Feel the Light Start to Tremble

by zubeneschamali



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, First Time, Huddling For Warmth, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27765985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zubeneschamali/pseuds/zubeneschamali
Summary: The good old "last night on Earth" trope with a twist: they're in space. Jensen and Jared's spaceship is almost out of power, and with nothing more that can be done, they learn they've both been wanting something they thought they couldn't have all this time…
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 13
Kudos: 238





	Feel the Light Start to Tremble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashtraythief](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/gifts).



> This was a prompt at spn_masquerade that I couldn't do justice to in the time allotted. But since ashtraythief basically wrote the prompt for me, I figured I had to give it a shot (and fill the wild card of my hc_bingo with stranded/survival in the process!). Many thanks to dugindeep for the fabulous beta reading job. Title is from "If I Lose Myself" by One Republic.

It was a tiny little piece of space debris, maybe as big as Jared's fist. Their scans didn't pick it up, and it was the worst of luck that it hit the side of the _Impala_ and bounced off right into the mostly-full starboard fuel tank, its high velocity powering it right through the tank and sending liquid propellant spewing into space. The port tank was the one they'd been drawing on, which meant it was mostly empty, without enough left to power both forward propulsion and life support.

After an hour of checking it out, Jensen confirmed the terrible news. "We could turn off propulsion and drift, which would get us to Robinson Station eventually. But we don't have enough fuel to keep life support going for that long." 

"Are we going to run out of air?" Of all the ways to die in space, that was the one that haunted Jared's nightmares. 

"It's not the lack of oxygen that's a problem; that runs off solar, and it's getting enough of a charge. It's the heating system. Without liquid fuel, it won't last long enough to get us to the station. If we go slow, we need too many days' worth of heat. If we go fast, we don't have enough fuel leftover for heat."

Once the heat went out, Jared knew they had three to four hours at most before the slow cooling of the ship brought them below a survivable temperature. "How long will the best combination of propulsion and heating last?"

For a moment, Jensen wouldn't meet his gaze. When he finally looked up, Jared had never seen his green eyes so shadowed. "Eighteen hours. Maybe more if I rewire some things."

It felt like a punch to the gut. They'd been sailing along, bringing a good load of cargo from the Alshain System to the station, talking about how they were going to spend their payment, Jared wishing he had the guts to invite Jensen to spend some time with him between work trips, fantasizing about what he could do if he got Jensen alone on a tropical beach.

Then the _ping_ of the alert system had been followed by a ton of alarms, and Jensen had gone racing down to the engine room. And now they were going to die. 

Jared swallowed hard. "Can I help?"

"Stay at the comms and listen for a response to our signal." Jensen gave him a weak smile. "And bundle up. If I turn the heat way down, the fuel will last longer." 

That had been four hours ago. In the intervening time, Jared had come up with half a dozen suggestions that Jensen had patiently explained he'd already thought of why they wouldn't work. The emergency beacon had been blinking since right after the incident, but they were well out of range of the station, and no ships were scheduled to be close enough to catch the signal. Not within eighteen hours, at least. 

It was already pretty damn cold, and Jared knew it was only going to get worse. They both had on every layer of clothing they had on the ship, and it was fine for now. Jensen had set the heat at just above freezing so there wouldn't be any problems with the pipes. He estimated that would gain them another six hours over his original estimate. 

In the meantime, there was nothing they could do. Twenty hours left, and no way Jared could navigate them to safety. There was nothing to shoot at, nothing to evade. Just the slow loss of temperature until they'd end up in the same cold, lifeless state as the empty vacuum of space all around them. 

His letters were up to date in the central system, the ones that were sent to family members in case of an incident like this. Jensen said he didn't have anyone who needed a letter, and Jared didn't push it. He knew Jensen had good friends he spent down time with, but he'd never really talked about family. And the friends were lifetime spacers like the two of them, well aware of the risks. 

Ironically, the only person Jared really needed to say some things to was the only person he _could_ talk to. And he still found himself paralyzed. 

Dinner time came and went, neither of them either hungry or seeing much point in eating. Jared watched the long-range scanners until the red dots of ships that were too far away to hear them swam in front of his eyes, as his fingers grew numb inside his gloves. Finally, Jensen came and put a hand on his shoulder. "C'mon. You've done all you can here."

"Yeah, but if someone's close to being in range, and we can divert in their direction—"

"Then if they don't see our signal, we won't be in line with Robinson Station and we won't have any fuel left to change our trajectory. Our best bet is to stay on course and keep as warm as we can for as long as we can." Jensen squeezed his shoulder. "C'mon. My cabin is smaller. If we're both in there, shared body heat will keep us warmer longer."

Jared followed him down the corridor in a daze. When Jensen lightly pushed him into his cabin and onto his bed, he was still thinking about other things they could try, other processes they could shut down to divert their remaining fuel. At least the lights were solar-powered, too, so they didn't have to spend their last hours in the dark. Too bad they were the modern kind that gave off only light and no heat.

It wasn't until Jensen had tucked the blankets around both of them—his own, plus the ones he'd grabbed from Jared's bed—that Jared realized how close he was to having one of his dreams come true. Only now, it was too late.

Jensen had tucked them in face to face in a kind of cocoon, one blanket draped over their heads and the others wrapped tightly around them. It was almost too warm right now, enough so that Jared had taken off his gloves, but he knew that would change. The bitch of it was, there were only inches separating their faces, and even if they each had about four layers on, Jensen's body was pressed up against his like he had only ever imagined.

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. _So close and yet so far._

"You all right, Jay?" Jensen asked softly.

He was tempted to snap back that it was a dumb question, but they had few enough hours left. They shouldn't spend any of them arguing. So instead he said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay. I know what you're thinking, you know."

Jared's eyes flew open. How did Jensen know how badly Jared wanted to take him in his arms and hold him even closer?

"There's nothing you could have done," Jensen was saying. "I saw the debris on the camera later on. It was too tiny to be picked up by sensors. You wouldn't have seen it even if you were staring out the porthole."

Oh. Yeah, he'd been thinking about that, too. "It's just so stupid. We have this incredibly complicated and technologically-advanced spaceship that can take us across galaxies. And a damn rock can fuck it up."

"It's never just one thing, you know that. If I hadn't decided to keep the starboard fuel tank full as long as possible for balance since the uneven cargo load was making her fly wonky, the port tank wouldn't be so low. If there wasn't a trade war going on, there'd be more ships in this sector to hear our signal. It's not on you, Jay."

"I know that logically, I just…" Jared trailed off and sighed. In a smaller voice, he said, "I'm scared."

"I know. Me, too." Jensen wriggled his arms until they were wrapped around Jared, one under his neck and one over his side. 

Jared's left arm was trapped between them, but he flung his right arm over Jensen and pulled him as close as he could. His nose was buried in Jensen's neck, and he took a deep breath, hoping Jensen would chalk it up to nerves rather than Jared trying to take in his scent as deeply as possible while he still could. At least with three pairs of pants on, Jensen wouldn't feel him getting a boner.

To distract himself, he asked, "How long till we get within hailing distance of Robinson Station?" 

"Fourteen hours."

He drew his head back. "And the heat?"

Jensen's expression was grim. "About ten."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Grim turned to anguished. "I'm sorry, Jay. I tried everything I could think of, and that's the most time I could get us. I don't see how we—" Jensen stopped, pressing his lips together, eyes huge in the dim light under the blanket.

"Hey, it's okay." Jared gave into impulse and kissed his forehead. "I know you tried. We'll stay close, okay? And we're in the core of the ship, right next to the engine room. Maybe it'll be enough to keep us going until someone finds us." He knew that was unlikely, given the emptiness of this sector, but it was always possible.

"That's what I love about you, Jared. You never give up." 

Jared's heart thumped an extra beat, but he brushed it off with a quick smile. "Where there's life, there's hope, right?"

"Yeah." 

They fell silent for a while. It was warm and toasty, and Jared thought maybe it would be okay. Their body heat would remain largely trapped under the blankets and inside the room. Even four hours without the heat being on was—

It wasn't a guarantee. And even if someone did notice their emergency beacon, it would take time to get to them. Time they might not have at that point. 

"Hey, Jared."

He dragged his thoughts out of the darkness. "Yeah?"

"What's the one thing you're gonna do when we get out of here? That you'd most regret not having done?"

He knew what Jensen was really asking, and he loved him for phrasing it the way he did, for leaning into Jared's optimism that they really would make it out of here. 

Then it hit him exactly what Jensen was asking, and he shook his head. "I don't know. I, uh, I never really thought about it."

"C'mon, you can tell me. Promise I won't make fun."

"No, I—you—" He let out a sigh and tried again. "How about you go first?"

"Me?" Jensen's voice was higher-pitched than normal. "I don't—I asked you first."

Jared gritted his teeth as he made a quick decision. Really, at this point, there was nothing left to lose, was there? "How about we both say it on three? What we'll most regret not doing?"

There went the optimistic streak that Jensen apparently liked a lot, and Jensen's reproachful look told him he got it. But Jensen was nodding, arms going tighter around Jared as if he was bracing himself. "On three."

They looked at each other and whispered together, "One, two, three."

A heartbeat passed, and Jared said, "Kissing you," at the same time Jensen said, "Telling you how I feel about you."

A few more rapid heartbeats passed as they stared at each other. Finally, Jared asked, his voice sounding weak, "What?"

"Are you—" Jensen was searching his eyes. "Are you serious?"

He nodded slowly. "How _do_ you feel about me?"

Jensen's gaze flickered down to his mouth, and Jared drew in a sharp breath. "One wish at a time, okay?" Jensen murmured.

Then he closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Jared's.

It took only a second for Jared to respond, leaning forward so he was practically on top of Jensen. He was lost in the feel of Jensen's mouth almost immediately, warm and soft as it had always looked, gently yet firmly pressing against his while his hands wound their way into Jared's hair. Jared made a happy little noise at that, and he could feel Jensen's lips stretch into a smile against his.

It was everything Jared had imagined kissing Jensen could be, as long as he didn't let himself think about why it was happening now. To head that off, he curled his leg over Jensen's, bringing them even closer together from head to toe. Jensen made a pleased murmur and teased at the seam of Jared's lips with his tongue.

Jared opened for him willingly, feeling the shiver of arousal run down his entire body as Jensen's tongue slid inside his mouth. It was so quiet in the cabin that he could hear the slick sounds of their mouths moving against each other, and he squirmed with the sudden need to have more of Jensen.

He broke the kiss long enough to whisper, "Can I touch you?" as he moved his hand to Jensen's waist.

Jensen hesitated for a second. "How cold are your hands?"

"Warmer than outside."

Jensen made the face that indicated Jared was being stupid, but Jensen would go along with it anyway. Before he could change his mind, Jared's fingers crept under four layers of shirts and jackets and splayed out across Jensen's back.

Jensen made a choked-off noise, eyes widening. "You meant warmer than outside the _Impala_ , didn't you?"

"Shhh," Jared soothed him before claiming his mouth again. He had Jensen's warm skin under his hands after years of trying not to stare when he changed shirts or walked from the shower to his cabin with just a towel around his hips. He wished desperately that he could see his fingers moving across that freckled skin and over the glorious curves of Jensen's back. Instead, he kissed Jensen harder, tongues tangling as he mapped out every inch with his fingers.

He did let out a yelp of his own when Jensen's cold hands slid under his shirts, but he knew they'd warm up, and in the meantime, _Jensen was touching him_. His fingers dug into Jared's muscles before soothing over the surface, fingernails lightly scraping the skin as his tongue slid back into Jared's mouth.

Jensen's breathing was coming faster, and then his hips gave a tiny upward thrust against Jared. Another shock of desire hit Jared in the gut, and when he drew back, he realized he was nearly panting as well. 

They stared at each other for a long moment. Jensen's eyes were huge, the pupils nearly swallowing the green. His lips were red and puffy, and Jared felt his cock twitch at the sight. Then he realized it was from kissing him, and the second twitch was even bigger.

Even through all the clothing they were wearing, Jensen must have felt that. Sure enough, a slow smile spread across his face. "That for me?" he asked in a voice rougher than normal.

This time, Jared gave into the urge to drag his hips against Jensen's, slowly and deliberately. Jensen's lips parted wider, and then Jared was falling into him again, kissing even harder than before.

Jensen pulled his arms away from Jared's back, and Jared didn't even get the protest out of his throat before he realized Jensen's fingers were working at the waist of his pants. "Yes, please," he muttered against Jensen's mouth, using his free hand to fumble with the button of Jensen's pants.

It took them a few frustrating minutes to work through all their layers, but the second Jensen's hand closed around Jared, he let out such a loud moan, he was instantly embarrassed. "Sorry, I—"

"That was the hottest thing I've ever heard." Jensen was practically growling. He rolled them both until they were on their sides again, shoving open the front of Jared's pants just enough to take his cock out. "Are you gonna come for me, Jared? Gonna let me watch you?"

"Shit," he breathed out as Jensen started stroking him. He'd never been so turned on in his whole life, he was sure of it. "In about two seconds, if you keep that up."

Jensen's low chuckle was pushing buttons Jared didn't even know he had. "Well, that would be a shame." His hand tightened around the base, and Jared grunted at the restriction. "Don't want it to go by too fast."

"Lemme…" Jared still had one fly to go, and he wriggled his hand until he could finally feel Jensen's hard length under his boxers. "Yeah, that's it," he murmured as his fingers measured out Jensen's length and width. "God, I bet you're gorgeous. Wanna put you in my mouth, Jensen, wanna get down on my knees for you and—"

That was all he got out before Jensen's mouth was crashing down on his as Jared felt Jensen's cock twitch in his hand. He smirked to himself as Jensen plunged his tongue into Jared's mouth, and then it was all heat and wetness and ever-spiraling desire.

A few more adjustments, a little more shifting around, and they were lined up next to each other. Jared's hand could close around both of them at once, and Jensen let out a groan. "Those fucking hands of yours," he muttered as he dropped small, biting kisses down Jared's neck. "Couldn't stop looking at them, thinking about them, wanting them on me. You have no idea, Jay."

He let out a half laugh, overwhelmed by Jensen's cock sliding next to his as their hips moved faster and faster. "Oh, I sure do," he breathed out. "If it's anything like how I wanted your hands to be on me. Watching you work in the engine room, seeing how you handle the weapons. So good, Jensen. Always thought you'd be good for me."

"Jay." Jensen's voice sounded choked as he looked up, and for a moment, Jared thought he was about to come. 

Then he remembered what was waiting for them outside this cabin, this haven they'd made for themselves, and he realized Jensen had remembered it, too. Jared shook his head. "Not now, Jensen. Not yet. Right now, you're mine."

Jensen gave him a glance that was half gratitude, half passion, and then his mouth descended on Jared's as he thrust more vigorously into Jared's hand. Jared met him, thrust for thrust, and when Jensen's hand slid down to cover as much of the two of them as he could, it was their clasped hands that they found a steady rhythm in.

For all that Jared was so hard it hurt, he didn't want to come. The sweet slide of Jensen's skin against his, the way their hips moved together, the scent of Jensen all around him, now sharper with their pre-come, was all overwhelming. He could hear low grunts coming from Jensen's throat with every thrust, and he tightened his grip, thumbing over the silky-soft head of Jensen's cock. 

The grunts turned into a long, low moan, pouring into Jared's mouth with their lips locked together. Then Jensen was shaking in his arms, and Jared caught one glimpse of his closed eyes and blissful expression before he came, too, burying his face in Jensen's neck and breathing in deeply as his hips stuttered. 

He was barely finished before Jensen was throwing his arms around him, pulling him as close as they could possibly be. He pressed a kiss to Jared's cheek and then to his mouth, and then they were exchanging slow, lazy kisses as if they had all the time in the world.

But the air was getting colder outside the blankets. They wiped themselves off and tucked themselves back in before huddling as close as they could. Jared's heart was still thumping faster than normal, and he could see the rabbiting pulse on Jensen's neck. He pressed a kiss to it, feeling the throb of life under the skin.

When he drew back, he asked, "So what was the second thing on your list?"

Jensen snorted. Then he threw his head back on a full-blown laugh, the kind that put crinkles next to his eyes and always made Jared want to lean down and feather kisses over his neck.

Oh. He could do that now. 

When Jared came back up, Jensen was looking at him so fondly that Jared's heart thumped with an extra beat again. He realized how familiar that look was, yet at the same time it felt new, and he grinned in response.

Jensen's hand came up to card through his hair. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I never thought I'd get to do the first thing. I hadn't really imagined what might come after that."

"I want to take you to a beach," Jared said. "A real beach, not the fake ones at the station. With sand and water and sky, with the crash of the waves and the grit between your toes. I want to see what you look like in the sunlight."

"You'd look beautiful," Jensen said softly. "The sun on your hair. You'd get so tan." He smiled slyly. "Wouldn't even let you wear swim trunks."

"There are places a man does not want to get sunburned," Jared retorted, and Jensen snorted in response. 

Then he shivered, and Jared tried to pull him closer. His heart was so full, and as long as he concentrated on that, on the way Jensen was smiling at him and the way their satiated bodies were intertwined, he could push back the knowledge of what lurked outside of Jensen's bed. 

Jensen laid his head on Jared's chest. "It's just like going to sleep, right? That's what they say."

Jared's heart stuck in his throat. "Jensen—"

"Shh, it's okay. I mean, it's not okay, it sucks, but…at least you're here. At least we had that."

"I'm glad for that." Jared fumbled to put his gloves back on before putting his hand over Jensen's head. "And I'm sorry." 

"Me too." Jensen patted his chest. "Would have loved to go to the beach with you."

"Yeah." Jared's eyes closed. He was still warm. So was Jensen. Maybe he'd just take a rest after all that and wake Jensen up in a bit for a second round. They still had time.

They were both still asleep seven hours later when the heating system started to sputter. As the temperature dropped below freezing, the system struggled to maintain its set temperature, until finally the fuel ran out and it clanged to a halt. Slowly but surely, the thermometer reading in the engine room sank downwards.

Three hours after that, a freighter headed for the Alshain System noted their distress beacon.

It was the beeping sound that woke Jensen. Must be another alarm, what was it this time, _oh shit_ had the rest of the fuel leaked—

His eyes flew open, and all he saw was white. White ceiling, white walls, none of it the worn-but-serviceable battlecruiser-grey surfaces of the _Impala_ , and for a moment he thought he was dead. 

Then the beeping registered again, and he slowly turned his head to see a monitoring robot standing by next to the head of his bed. Hospital, then. That meant someone had found them, they'd made it off—

Jensen frantically lifted his head, ignoring the shushing motions of the robot. Beyond it was a second bed, with a second robot, and praise the stars, Jared was lying in that bed. 

Jensen laid back down against the pillows, suddenly exhausted. As he watched, Jared's eyes cracked open, and he slowly turned his head to face Jensen. After a moment, a slow smile spread across his face, one that Jensen returned with as much relief and joy as he could put in his expression.

He reached out his hand, past the monitoring robot, and Jared did the same. Their beds were just close enough that their clasped hands could rest on the nightstand between them. The warm weight of the blankets was pressing down on Jensen, dragging him back into sleep, but it wasn't until he saw Jared's eyes close again that he did the same. 

As soon as they got out of here, Jensen was taking him to a beach.


End file.
